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Tuesday, February 19, 2008

I'm a believer.

Apparently, my sister in law is not the only woman who's felt a bit molested after leaving the nail place beside the grocery store. After I wrote about it, several women came forward to laugh hysterically tell me in hushed tones filled with private shame about their similar experiences at the same place. But they do good work, molestation notwithstanding, and it's cheap, so everyone keeps going, employing various tactics to keep themselves safe, such as wearing skinny leg jeans to avoid the over-zealous leg massager. And there's always the chance that we hysterical women just have over-active imaginations, right? Not.

After hearing so many stories, I had to see for myself. That, and my mom could only keep the baby for a short time and the place is two blocks from my house, so away I went. All I needed was a pedicure, because I've given up on ever having time for my fingernails to dry before someone demands to be picked up or I have to cook something or open something or wipe something. I was directed to the last chair, right in front of the shower curtain, behind which all sorts of things get hot waxed and torn off. Apparently, the waxer was feeling claustrophobic that day and left the curtain open. I got to see a few mustaches disappear, along with some wild and crazy eyebrows and one client who appeared to be having her entire face waxed, probably after being threatened. Thankfully, there were no bikini waxes on the agenda. I would not have liked seeing that at all.

I was having kind of a stressful day. One of my children stayed home from school "sick" and I had realized that he might not have been exactly "sick"*. As a consequence, I couldn't do some of the things I normally do when everyone's away, like get my nails done, zone out on the computer, exercise, drink Diet Pepsi or clean for five minutes four or five hours. I made the child in question come with me to the nail place and do home work while he was there, which I think was punishment enough for a first offense. But I wasn't exactly relaxed. I grabbed a magazine, which is a good way to signal that you aren't feeling chatty. This nail technician, however, was not deterred. I kept my eyes on my magazine and tried to sound completely uninterested, without being too rude. I made a few "oh, "uh-huh," and "hmmm" type noises. Until I heard something that I couldn't ignore. While he was scrubbing the rough spots off of my feet, which always tickles a little, he said,

"I'll come to your house and tie you up and tickle you. Ha ha ha!"

I figured it was time to start paying attention and prayed that I hadn't already agreed to such a thing. I looked up and responded, laughing nervously,

"Oh! No, thank you! Ha ha ha!"

To which he responded,

"Ha ha ha!"

I really hope we didn't make a date. Just in case, I paid with cash instead of my debit card or a check.

My sister in law tells me she recently saw a sign there advertising "Full Day Spa Coming Soon!" I don't care how cheap it is. The risk of hidden cameras is just too high. Well, unless it's really cheap...

Namasté, y'all!

*Any advice on how to deal with that is welcome. Please Email Me if you have any.


Don Mills Diva said...

Oh you have to sign up for the full treatment just so you can report back here!

Anonymous said...

I don't think going to that Full Day Spa would be a good idea for anyone with perviness we have all experienced at that place! Can you imagine? "I massage more for you -- here and here, you like?"