When I was eighteen or so, I had a friend, sort of like a boyfriend, but I don't think he was that into me, so maybe not. We were supposed to go to some party or another and I had a zit on my chin. I freaked, threw a full on hissy fit and refused to go to the party. Looking back on it, I'm not sure why. Could one zit really change someone's opinion of me? Did one zit indicate a great character flaw I needed to hide from the world? Um. I have no answer for that, m'kay? I was eighteen and ridiculously self-conscious and self-obsessed. My friend did me a big favor.
"You know," he said as I sniffled dramatically, "Nobody cares about your stupid zit."
What? This was a statement both depressing and liberating. Nobody cares. Nobody's watching. The world just isn't that into me. He chastised me for being willing to miss an entire party over something so inconsequential as a zit.
"Do you realize how small that thing is compared to your entire body?"
I did the math. He was right, the percentage was minuscule.
"NOT THAT I'M SAYING YOUR BODY IS BIG. YOU ARE VERY, VERY SKINNY."
Well, thin or slender are nicer words, but to quote Sarah Silverman, "I just want you to think I'm skinny." Although he was also eighteen, he was a wise man.
So, thanks to that guy, I haven't turn downed a party since. Thanks, that guy. Now I'm an alcoholic. But I digress.
This time of year, when the weather changes, my skin goes into panic mode. Yesterday, I had dry, peeling skin, all over my face. No amount of moisturizer made it disappear. Desperate for a fix, I went to the kitchen. In a bowl, I mixed the following:
- a spoonful of almond butter.
- a blob of mashed, overripe banana (froze the rest for banana bread later).
- a spoonful of sugar.
- a large squirt of honey.
- a dash of extra virgin olive oil.
- a dollop of buttermilk, which I'm still trying to get rid of. Suggestions?