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Showing posts with label seventies cookbooks. Show all posts
Showing posts with label seventies cookbooks. Show all posts

Monday, March 30, 2009

Quinoa Week comes to an anti-climactic close.

Well. I don't love this recipe, but I liked it. And it was all I had the energy to make after a few days in Charleston for their Fashion Week. According to the Weekly Beet, I may be suffering from PFST. I agree with this diagnosis and must acknowledge that I may also be suffering from PCFS*. To aid my recovery, I'm eating nice and clean and avoiding alcohol, for at least a few days. I am one-hundred percent sure I'll be drinking heartily on Friday night, when we're finally going to Orangeburg to try Four Moons. TF almost gave up alcohol for Lent like he has never in the history of the world managed to do, but he tries and fails does every year. Honestly? I don't even think he tries that hard. Because if he is trying, and continues to fail, don't we need to acknowledge he has a problem. And doesn't that mean I, too, have a problem? Why don't you shut-up, fun hater? So, he's our driver, because Four Moons is far, far away, y'all. And if I'm going that far for a meal, I'm going to wash it down with plenty of bubbly so I can pass out for the long drive home. But I digress.

Anyhow, I have dessert fantasies about the quinoa. My ultimate goal is to roast it with some nuts and some sort of caramel sauce so it gets crispy, at which point I will crumble it over ice cream or just eat it. Any suggestions as to an effective way to achieve this would be welcome. I'm thinking a burnt caramel taste, like those almond bowls in fancy restaurants. I figured a quinoa pudding would be easy, similar to rice pudding, so I didn't try that, but I most certainly will some day. The breakfast quinoa recipe is pretty close to a dessert, actually. I decided to attempt the next easiest thing, Apple Quinoa Crumble. Crumble is like impromptu bread pudding or Bisquick cobbler - not fancy, no need for a recipe, not exactly company food, but way better than pudding from a mix. Unless it's the pistachio kind. Do they still make that? Is it as good as I remember or was I as desperate for sweets as my children are, because we both have mothers who are so mean they want us to eat healthy and never give us dessert? Would I still like it? These are questions for another day. Now that I think about it, pistachios would be an excellent addition to the Quinoa Crumble. Here we go...

Apple Quinoa Crumble

Pre-heat your oven to 350° and cut up a few apples. Put them in a buttered casserole dish. Sprinkle the apples with cider vinegar or lemon juice. I feel sure white vinegar wouldn't be the end of the world.

Chopped apples. Duh.

In another bowl, mix 1/2 cup cooked quinoa, 1/2 cup sliced almonds, a few big spoonfuls of sugar, quite a few shakes of cinnamon, a dash of salt and about 1/4 cup melted butter. Stir all that together**.

Topping for Quinoa Crumble

Spoon the topping over the apples.

Ready to bake.

Bake it until the apples are soft, 30 to 40 minutes. Spoon it over ice cream and drizzle a little bit of honey to add sweetness if you like.

Quinoa crumble. S'pretty good. Swear.

Honestly, this will not be the most decadent dessert you've ever eaten, but it's a nice way to use up the end of that huge bowl of quinoa you cooked at the beginning of the week and it's pretty satisfying. Besides, it's pretty healthy, especially if you used frozen yogurt, which would probably complement it better than the rich, full-fat vanilla my kids bought with the twenty dollar bill I gave them while I waited in the car with the Tank, who was in no condition to go into a grocery store. I was going to send the X-Man in by himself, leaving O. at home alone for a few minutes (He's almost 11. Don't call CPS. Also, he is pretty smart.) However, the X-Man requested his big brother's help for the adventure because, he explained, "Sometimes I get kind of shy." Aw.

Incidentally, one of the most amusing things I ever did with those two was give them $5 and send them into Palmetto Candy and Tobacco*** with orders to buy whatever they wanted without asking for more money or fighting. They were five and eight years old and I sat in the car just outside the store with a sleeping infant and waited. I had taken them there before and didn't want to deal with the drama. Palmetto sells candy in bulk and they have big barrels of candy from bulk packages that ripped. The barrels are labeled "5 for $1," "10 for $1" and so on. There is at least one barrel with big stuff, each item costing a whole dollar. And there are sodas. And bags of potato chips. Anyhow, I think it's a fun place for kids to go, a Columbia institution, but I couldn't deal with the (literal) nickle and diming once we were inside. So I gave them the money and the orders. And I prayed. In less than eight minutes, they left the store, skipping past the cigar store Indian standing guard by the door, right behind a house painter heading back to his van and laughing his head off. In their little hands, they held more candy than they had ever owned at once. In an effort to save the environment, they decided they didn't need bags. There was candy spilling from their pockets, their shirts, their clenched fists and their socks. They were laughing so hard they could barely breathe. And they had change from the $5.

I had one of those "Oh." parenting moments. I avoided the whining, they felt really proud of themselves and kind of bonded over the whole experience and I didn't even have to wake up the baby. They learned about budgeting and teamwork. It was the feel-good moment of the year! Why didn't I think of that?

Namasté, y'all!

P.S. I have ordered something new and exciting, for me at least. My new thing is a Flip Video MinoHD Camcorder. I'll mostly use it for my other blog, but I'm sure it will prove useful on this one, too. Perhaps I will film myself dying my own eyebrows. Maybe I'll take higher quality videos of my lawn. Perhaps I will film TF snoring. Don't warn him, m'kay? I haven't gotten it yet, so if anyone knows of any reason I should not be wedded to this cute little camera, speak now or forever hold your peace. Opinions welcome.


* Post-Child-free Syndrome. Oh. My. Gosh. It was awesome. The first two and a half days were also husband-free. No offense to TF, but that was pretty awesome, too. Waking up whenever I wanted (9 am-ish,) eating breakfast in peace, showering at leisure, spending the whole day meandering...and I didn't have to rush back to get ready because, with no one around to "help," I can shower, relax, put on makeup and get dressed in fifteen minutes. And I wear a lot of makeup, y'all.

** Sometimes, I like to over-use the sharpen function in photo-editing software because it makes the food look more like dishes in a seventies cookbook, which I like. Discuss. Or not.

*** Which my nephew used to call "The Candy Meadow." How cute is that?

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Ultimate Balls, Sausage Style.

That is the recipe included in the Free Times this week. I was tempted to replace the phrase "So go for it" with "Sack up and buy the fancy cheese." As I sat at my desk, debating the issue in my head (or maybe out loud), the phone rang. It was my dad. Obviously a sign I should leave the offending phrase out of the article. However, it's much funnier, so if you read the piece, please make the substitution. The article isn't up online yet, but you know I'll give you the link when it is. Because I love you.

I love you so much I won't taunt you about the fact that we are headed somewhere very warm for Thanksgiving. Because if I did taunt you, it would surely rain the whole time. So, consider yourself not taunted. Being me, I'm experiencing a fair amount of anxiety about the trip. These are the things that are flipping me out, in no particular order:

  • The Tank is not potty trained. On the bright side, we may have time to work on that during our vacation.
  • We never fly. All these new regulations scare me. What if they take my wrinkle cream? I will come back even uglier.
  • I didn't have time to get a spray-on tan. My whiteness will blind and scare people.
  • The possibility of diarrhea. We have three kids, y'all. Three. That is a lot of diarrhea potential.
  • What if I can't summon the worldwide internets at the resort? I'll feel so lonely! And I won't be able to update my other blog, which I have to do because I've turned it into my job.
Speaking of my job, I'm having a giveaway on The Shop Tart. Check it out. Maybe you'll win. Besides, the more creepy food pictures I get, the better. The contest is a tribute to one of my favorite cookbooks. The recipes are fairly useless, but the pictures are amazing.

Yum! Not really. But it has good pictures.

The cookbook is very thorough. It provides recipes for both dinner and supper. Apparently, these are two different meals. I did not know this and can't decide if it interests me or not. The recipes may not be prepared for lunch. Duh.

Here's to my new friend Wellbutrin. Hope it can get me through Survivor: Dominican Republic with the In-Laws!

Namasté, y'all!

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Ahhhh...Perfect Happiness.

There are times in life when I experience great, indescribable joy. Today, ladies and gentlemen, I experienced that joy. I've finally found the ultimate apple corer, and I didn't even know I was looking for it. It's always annoyed me that it's so hard to remove the core from an apple corer once the apple has been cored. By the way, why do we say "core" an apple when we actually mean "decore"? I guess it's the same as husking corn or pitting cherries. Must be a food thing. The other day, I went to the mall. I don't like the mall, because I do my best to shop local businesses. But my sister had to go to some big box store to get some sort of satellite radio thingy installed in my uncle's BMW and it's rude to order someone else to find someone local to do the job, especially if you once had someone local install some stereo thingy in your BMW and, in the process, they destroyed the air conditioning, which somehow ended up costing you three thousand dollars, but I digress.

Once at the mall (innocently, because it wasn't my idea!), I had to do a little bit of shopping. I needed some more dear john face cream, which I can only get at the mall, so I got that. While I was in the store, I happened to see a pair of high-heeled, eggplant-colored, patent leather Mary Janes, which I had to buy because they were on super clearance and, as far as I know, I only have one other pair of purple heels. And I had to go into Williams-Sonoma, even though I prefer the Gourmet Shop or Mary and Martha's, because they do cooking demonstrations and often have free samples and I'm always hungry. They didn't have any samples out, which irked me, but manners (and a tiny bit of shame) forced me to browse for a minute. Lo and behold, I saw an apple corer on the wall. It was like no apple corer I had ever seen before. It had a little plunger thingy to get the core out once the apple has been cored. No more sores from removing cores! Hooray! I introduce to you my brand new, Calphalon, ten dollar apple corer:

And tonight I made an apple spice cake, which is far less tedious now that I have my fancy apple corer. In fact, this recipe can now be called easy, so here it is.

Easy Apple Bundt Cake

In a big bowl, mix the following:

1 1/3 cups all purpose flour.

1 cup whole wheat flour.

1 1/4 cups sugar.

2 teaspoons baking soda.

1 teaspoon salt.

1 teaspoon cinnamon or nutmeg, if you're making it for my mother in law, who despises cinnamon.

6 cups peeled, cored(!) and chopped Granny Smith apples.

1/2 cup oil.

1/4 cup honey.

1 teaspoon vanilla.

2 eggs.

Mix it all together at low speed, just until all the dry ingredients are moistened. If your mixer is almost as old as my husband, which mine is, you may have to use medium speed. Now mix it a little bit more, maybe a minute or two. Let your kids lick the beaters while you stir in a half a cup of chopped walnuts or pecans. Make sure to unplug the mixer before you let your kids lick the beaters. Trust me on that one.

Grease a bundt pan. I mean an old school bundt pan, none of this new fangled, no-stick nonsense. Here's mine, with the cooked cake in it:


Dump the batter into the bundt pan and cook it at 350° for 50-60 minutes, or until a toothpick comes out clean. Let it cool for a while in the pan before you turn it out or it won't come out in one piece. It'll still taste good, but you might be sad. If you ignore my advice and dump it too soon and it comes out in chunks, all is not lost. Serve hunks of it warm, topped with vanilla (or butter pecan!) ice cream and caramel sauce. You could also serve it with some greenery and tea cups, like this:


Namasté, y'all!

Thursday, January 03, 2008

Je t'aime et je soufflé.



Are filthy jokes filthy if you have to speak another language to get them? Just asking.

My children love soufflé and they like to eat early. Ergo, no one above the age of nine is ever home to see the soufflé before it falls. And, you know what they say, if no one is there to see the risen soufflé, did it still rise? So, I have to take a picture. I firmly believe that when you are taking a picture of food, it should look as much like a seventies cookbook as possible. The colors should be garish, the floral arrangements loud or holiday themed and liquor should be prominently featured. Everyone loves a glass of Dewar's with smoked salmon soufflé, right?

Incidentally, I like how the Poinsettia looks as if it is both lovingly cradling the Scotch and preparing to devour the soufflé. It looks so alive! It's like a metaphor for the soufflé, which is sort of alive, because it falls as soon as you stab it. I just love violent food imagery, don't you?

Namasté, y'all!

P.S. The only reason I'm not giving you the recipe is because it's not mine. I used the exact recipe from Epicurious.com. Here it is. It was really good and easy, even though I had to use dried dill instead of fresh. By the way, I've found that stick blenders don't work so well for whipping egg whites. A good old-fashioned hand blender works best. I use this one, a wedding gift to my parents:

I like how the mixer seems to be coming out of its Poinsettia hiding place.

Tuesday, July 31, 2007

If No One is Home to See the Soufflé, Did It Still Rise?




















That was such a nice soufflé, by the way. Ham and cheese I think. And I made the flower arrangement because taking a picture of a soufflé seemed so seventies cookbook. The green vase is a nice touch, n'est-ce pas?