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Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Gameday musings...

In grand old Gamecock tradition, I'd like to offer yet another explanation for their recent loss. Ladies and Gentlemen, may I present My Husband's Fake Enthusiasm. The Gamecocks can feel it. He's mocking them and it's not good. He likes to say things like,

"Why the h*ll are you gonna' pundt?"

at totally inappropriate times, in a fake, aging frat boy voice. Now, there is nothing in the world wrong with being an aging frat boy. And it's not okay to make fun of anyone, even aging frat boys. Even the ones who wear baseball hats inside. With pleated pants. It's definitely not okay to make fun of the Gamecocks. They're trying their best. I guess. My husband, by the way, semi-endorses my theory and has pledged to stop being so mean.

We ran into some fun people at the game. Highlights included, but were certainly not limited to, the following.

  • Drunk lady with a great body in the parking lot, making out with her boyfriend. I thought she looked good for forty, until I saw her friends and realized she was a rough looking twenty four. One of her handsome companions spent a good amount of time finishing off whatever was left in every liquor bottle, cup or wine box he threw away. Gold star for cleaning up and not being wasteful, sir!
  • The drunk guy sitting beside me. You know, the one with the tattoos and the muscle t. he told me, "Errrrbody in this stadium s'drunk." I told him I was not and pointed out my children. I do not get drunk in public in front of the children. That's a Mommy of the Year no-no. We usually sit in the Zone. Sitting in the stands was an interesting cultural experience.
  • The Super Positive Guy behind us. Loved his enthusiasm, really. He yelled his head off for everything, but he kept it positive. No matter how awful the Gamecocks did, he was okay with it. "That's alright! You'll get 'em this time boys!" He would make an excellent life coach. Conversation between him and his friend, both of whom spoke English as a first language.

    Positive Guy: What does it say about USC that you only have to have a 76 out of 120 on the TOEFL to get in?

    PG's Friend: Man, I didn't even have to take that one.

    Positive Guy was too polite to respond.
  • The many, many guys who think they can be heard by Steve Spurrier over everyone else in the stadium. And that they know exactly how the game should go, play for play.
  • The drunk guy who needed to get out of his car to tell the traffic cop how to do his job. It would seem that drunk guy, who was thankfully a passenger, not the driver, felt that he had waited long enough. So we all got to wait longer. Thank you, drunk guy.
  • More than a few people who wanted to be sure if it was "hot enough for us." Yes, thanks.
I sincerely hope my girls from the gym can whip those boys into shape by next week. I hear Spurrier does Pilates for his golf game. When does he have time to play golf?

For actual more in depth coverage of my beloved Cocks*, take a look at Side Line Magazine. Good stuff.

Namasté, y'all!

* That's what he said.

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